Emotional Fluidity

Emotional fluidity is one of my favorite things about the emotional awareness work that I do for myself and with clients.

It means that I can enter states of paralyzing dread and panic I didn’t even know I had and tremble in terror for a day, and then the next day wake up with a smile on my face and the utmost knowing that life is a precious gift I get to enjoy and so I spend the day doing just that.

It means I could uncover a deep belief or wound and be horrified by the realization that it's been running my life, feel like I'm broken and doomed to perpetuate my own fu*kupery for the rest of my life, spend a few hours diving deep into it without trying to deny anything that I'm feeling, as irrational as it may be, and/or moving it out of my system through dancing, shaking, making sounds or just sitting in stillness with it and watching it flow, and eventually decide to feel complete, go outside, enjoy the sun, and feel blessed for this wonderful existence, and later go to bed knowing that I am doing fantastic and only ever moving forward.

It means that, occasionally, I can get up feeling down, try to override it with supportive mindsets or dispel it with various practices only to find out that I still feel like sh*t, spend 3 hours in bed trying to disappear from the world while feeling emptiness, loneliness or despair, then perhaps feel inspired to reach out for support, share all my gloomy thoughts with someone who won't try to talk me out of my irrational fears or comfort me (which, fyi, would only invalidate my experience and thus would not be helpful), then start laughing at the comicality of my human existence, and eventually decide to jump in the shower and make it a great day. It means that I can have a challenging morning that may test my sense of sanity followed by a peaceful afternoon and an evening of exuberant dancing in the park, rich conversations with strangers, belly laughters, and blissful smiles as I fall asleep, because life just feels that good!

“Three hours!!” you may wonder. Yeah, it would have taken me three very long hours, which would have honestly felt more like eternity. That would have made me unproductive, waste my entire morning, and go against all the logical principles of how to kick start my precious day the “right” way.

Well, here’s the thing – if I didn’t move through it, would I have really had a productive morning? Sincerely, I don’t think I’d have a productive – or enjoyable – DAY at all! In fact, these unexplored feelings could easily linger for days and weeks, making me not just distracted, confused, unmotivated and unproductive, but also miserable, exhausted and potentially even physically sick.

I would have most likely spent that morning trying to deny all my sombre feelings, drinking an excessive amount coffee in an effort to try to find the energy needed to get stuff done (as a lot of my energy would be extended on suppressing the uncomfortable feelings) loading up on carbs to make myself feel less empty, and, eventually, just feeling worthless and incapable because of my inability to concentrate and get stuff done.

Instead, I choose to spend three hours exploring my feelings deeply, until I feel complete and I can then move on, feeling clear and neutral, with none of that lingering in my system! Once I’ve cleared it all out and made space for the next thing to come through, in comes the calm, peace, bliss, joy, and love.

Emotional fluidity is a gift children have, and we adults lose, too afraid to truly feel our feelings. Do you ever see a kid giggle with glee when only 5 minutes ago they were screaming hysterically from the top of their lungs?

What happened?!

Not much, they just moved through their experience and now they are onto the next one!

When we don't feel our sadness, we end up stuck in it – we have depression. When we don’t move through our anger, we end up consumed by it – we get irritated by everyone and everything, because our accumulated anger constantly seeks a way to be felt, presenced, and expressed.

Emotional fluidity means you can move in and out of anything and everything. When we allow ourselves to embrace and feel something FULLY, it completes. And often rather fast.

Here’s my invitation:

If you want to feel more good feelings, such as joy, bliss, pleasure, ecstasy or enjoyment, you need to be capable of feeling more.

Most people choose to renounce that capacity and stay closer to numbness.

They sense that feelings are a full spectrum that extends both up and down.

I find that the more I allow myself to fully go there and really feel it all, in all its intensity and splendor, all the doomsday, fear, pain, terror, sadness, loneliness, panic or rage, the more capacity for joy, bliss, pleasure and pure ecstasy I am rewarded with. The more stuck energy I explore and liberate from my system, the more vibrancy, energy, drive and lust for life I wake up each day. I find that the more I feel, the more alive I feel.

So no, in case you’re wondering, I am not bipolar haha! I am just human. I have emotions. And I choose to explore, feel, and experience them fully, because I’m increasingly aware that that’s what makes me the most human, which, by tautology, means that it makes me do “human” in the best way possible, and, from my lived experience, it also makes me enjoy and max out this human experience the most.